You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
