Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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