Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just pynch a tree in the face

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(707): View more from California

I haven't been laid since Bush was president.

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(818): View more from California

so... thinking about masturbating finally

(661): View more from California

taking the losers way out I see

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

and then he started using my ass as a stressball

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(250): View more from British Columbia

dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me

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(863): View more from Florida

They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.

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