Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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