Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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