At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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