yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
