So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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