well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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