No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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