Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
