my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
