I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
