dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
