Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
foreskin is a definite game changer
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
