would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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