We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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