i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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