But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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