I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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