She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
