So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
