Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Holy sore nipples Batman
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
