No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
