She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
