yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
