The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize