: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
