sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
