I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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