I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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