sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
COCAINE IS GR8
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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