This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
