Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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