Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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