we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize