i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
