omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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