I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
