Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
