some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
