I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
