I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
