Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
