Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
