this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
