Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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