i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
