I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
