As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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