please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This toilet bowl is my home.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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