is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
