I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize