He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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