"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
