I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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