me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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