Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
