she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
