sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
