all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
