i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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