do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
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